US to drop TROU, look at THONG

In yet another example of inter-agency miscommunication, the US Intelligence services have been caught with their PANTSS down, again. The Patriot Act Neo Telecommunications Surveillance System or PANTS System recently emailed the particulars of at least two unmentionable programs to Congress. As was reported last week on Bogs Blog, the FBI has been running an anti terrorism program code named "Terrorists Hiding Ordnance iN Garments" or simply "THONG". Congress immediately voted to review the evidence and look into possible misuse of THONG. This unanimous vote also required special closed door sessions of both the House and the Senate. Unbeknownst to them, the NSA was running its own sweep code named "Terrorist Recruitment of Underwear" or "TROU". One thing led to another and as the House and Senate went behind closed doors to ensure proper oversight of the THONG Program, they were instead shown photographs and video of the TROU program in detail. Rumor has spread of the existence of a third program code named "Surveillance of Known International adVisors and Information Sellers" or "SKIVIS". When asked to verify this Rumor, Senator Boxer replied, "No Comment".
The President reassured the Country of the Constitutionality of these programs in a statement yesterday, "Well, I think the best course of action here is to drop TROU and take a good hard look at THONG. We also must do everything imaginagable(sic) to keep PANTSS up while under the current International scrutiny."
He refused to answer questions of whether or not SKIVIS were under TROU or other agency oversight. He did, however, say that if SKIVIS turned out to be involved in TROU, they would probably be dropped as well due to being "stained" by this hole ordeal.