Monday, July 06, 2009

Reverend X Unmasked

Yeah, I kinda dropped the whole paranoid hacker cover and started being me, even here. And who am I? A bitch? An asshole? Well, you are both right... Tranny Anti-corporate, conspiracy nut. Am I proud of what I am?

Pride? Fuck pride...
Self esteem is an individuals sense of personal value. This value is calculated by adding the persons strengths, charms, weaknesses and honor and dividing that sum by the persons awareness of them. It is subjective algebra and X is a daily struggle to maintain. Many individuals find the struggle to be too hard. But with out self esteem to remind them that they truly do deserve to be alive, those who give up on their internal struggle look outside of themselves for that affirmation. They methadone their need for validation with Pride.
Pride is a negative emotion. In the absence of self esteem, an individual will associate themselves with a grouping of others who share some similar traits.i.e. belief system, skin tone, sexual preference, regional birth. etc. Surround yourself with others who have something in common with you, then have everyone pat each other on the back for having this prerequisite trait and what do you get? A false confidence and generally undeserved feelings of worth. The irony is that the common trait binding each group... The unifying similarity celebrated and hailed by the pride group, almost never owes it's attachment to the individual from any choice, action, or accomplishment of the individual. White pride, black pride, gay pride, national pride... I had nothing to do with my birth place, skin color, nationality or romantic attraction tendencies. But if you tell me that I am brave, strong or special because of those traits and you tell me that often and no one says anything to the contrary... I might start to believe I am worth more than someone who has different traits.
Personally, if you follow me around and compliment me on anything repeatedly, I am gonna get the hell away from you. Or more likely, I am going to mock you. Taunt you. Bully you and verbally cut the false confidence out of you like a cancer. I know a lot of people who think I am an evil bitch for the way I treat some people and the things I say. They are probably right. Al I know is that if I was proud of me being something I had no choice in being, or encouraged by numbers and general opinion rather than validity... Then somebody had better come up and friggin ruin my whole parade. Slap me back down to Earth and open my eyes to myself and you better do it fast and hard. Hurt my feelings, please!
I'd always rather be called an idiot and corrected when wrong than be an idiot. I truly believe I deserve to be here and deserve my life because I have worked for it and learned how to keep it.
My point... and I have one. Lol. I am not special because I am a tranny. I am not brave because I can't conform to gender types that I do not have to conform to. I'll take some credit for the way I look, cuz that ain't easy to pull off. I would love to eat a meal some day... Just can't and still wear that skirt. So I sacrafice and struggle. That is earned. The kudos for being born different? Keep em. We are all different.
Just not unique. The extra rights and protections society has deemed I need? Hate crime legislation? Nope. Don't want it. Don't need it. Punishing someone more than another for the same crime and basing that increase in punishment solely on their disimilarity to me? You realize that justifying the extending of a prison sentence based solely on physical traits is the exact same logic that let indentured servitude grow into the slave trade? Imagine that dumb ass recursive loop. Oppression followed by affirmative action which advances one group over the other continually until the other is completely oppressed followed by affirmative action for them to the point that... See?

How bout equality and tolerance. And if I hate you but am not trying to hurt you... that means I am tolerating you. If you ain't on fire, but we ain't friends? That is freedom and justice for all!! Tolerance means letting another individual have life. Tolerance does not including making their life easy, happy, fruitful or rewarding. It just means not taking it.

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