Monday, July 04, 2005

I would like to see Tomorrow

Today is taking forever. It really feels like it is never going to end. It just drags on from moment to moment, nothing changing, just existing. I don't think tomorrow is going to make it. It called a while ago and said it was on it's way, but that was a long time ago. It should have been here by now. Well, the sun has set, all the loved ones are sleeping, and you're lying in bed, wishing you were asleep. You cant' sleep though. Not Today. Nothing can break the firm grip Reality has on you. Slow deep breath, you hold it, and exhale. Nothing, No relief from the tightness in your chest. The Doctor called them Panic attacks. Said you were just focusing on your mortality a bit too much of late. Making yourself crazy. He told you to not worry, you were fit as an ox. But you know better. You know, deep down inside what's wrong. It's not Tomorrow that creeps in this petty pace from day to day... There is no day to day. In a few hours the sun will rise and it will still be Today. The same people, saying the same things, doing the same things, thinking the same things, following the routine pattern, maintaining the status quo, barely. Barely alive, barely aware, barely awake. They're all dead inside. Blood flowing from habit and inertia. Limbs echoing movements begun in the past, mouths repeating words that used to mean something long ago. Now the words are hollow, disconnected from their meaning. Like verbal effigies they hang there interpreted at will.
Did time stop? Start skipping? One day repeating, never ending? No. You see it, it's still here, it's still showing all around you. It's cold fire slowly burning, fading, stripping all around you. The world is still turning, spinning off into the future. Now you see it's just the people stuck in place, in this Limbo. The dead are walking around in circles. Zombie victims of a voodoo, self inflicted, self prescribed, for the fear We're all injesting. To the fear we've all subscribed.
Ghosts haunt places, time echoes tragedy. Acceptance, is submission when things are not set Right. Truth is a power which must be brought to light. We can't ignore it, or outlast it. We all feel it, like a junky feels the need when the needles empty. Serve your masters, serve your interests, serve your basest human instincts and tomorrow will never come. Like a haunting you'll continue to float about Today. Or you can seize it, lift yourself up, do what it takes, do the right thing Today. To let the dead rest and the rest live justice must be served. The wrongs must be righted and all must get what they deserve.

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